Last Wish
by Defenestrator
Summary: The reflection of Zanzu, a Shinigami in the 12th division, at the point of his death. Set during the time the gang invaded Soul Society. Oneshot.


His body bubbled up sickeningly underneath his skin, and he knew that death would come quickly. Life seemed to have a way of boomeranging straight back at you, he reflected. It should have been him who died at the hands of Captain Kurotsuchi all those years ago, and it seemed the universe did not forget. No, here he was again with his life in the malicious hands of Kurotsuchi, and this time there would be no escape. Cursing the Captain, he pushed the girl he was holding to one side, and leapt in the other direction. He could feel his blood boil, and he closed his eyes to receive his death.

_I'm sorry, Kurin…_

He'd died in the physical world as a child – of that Zanzu was sure. But that was all he was sure of. It was entirely possible he had family members somewhere in Soul Society, but he'd certainly never met any of them over on this side. And you don't remember much when all your thoughts are focused on where the next morsel of food is going to come from. After all, Area 75 of the North quadrant wasn't exactly a daycare centre. He wasn't sure how he'd survived – sometimes, he'd roam with packs of other children, ambushing unwary people for food. Other times, his stomach would growl so much he couldn't bear the thought of having to share the spoils, and he would try to strike out on his own. Needless to say, running away and hiding quickly became his specialties.

It was while hiding (yet again) in an alley that he met Kurin. Exhausted, Zanzu was leaning on his knees trying to get his breath back. The last thing he expected to see was a head popping out of a trash can. Stepping back in shock, he lost his balance on a stray piece of garbage. With a landing that knocked all his breath back out, Zanzu ended up staring at the sky. He could hear laughter, and sat up in a hurry, trying to regain his dignity.

"It's not funny," he said to the other boy in a slightly sullen tone.

"Don't worry," the other boy replied with a grin, "I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing at the falling over. Oh, and I'm Kurin. You can just call me 'bastard street rat', though, that's what everyone else does."

He'd immediately taken a liking to Kurin – everyone seemed to, really. Standing up, he returned Kurin's grin.

"I'm Zanzu. But if you ever call _me_ 'bastard street rat', I'll knock your head off. And if you're so hungry you'll dig through trash for food, then let's go steal something to eat."

"…But wasn't that what you just failed to do?"

"Aw, just shaddup!"

Zanzu was never far from Kurin from that day on. Kurin had a way of laughing at the world that Zanzu always marveled at, and his humour was infectious. Zanzu also noted with satisfaction that working together, their success rate was a great deal higher than his own. Whenever he asked his friend why he'd become his partner, Kurin would always shrug and say flippantly, "You were there, I was there, and it was the divine hand of Fate guiding one bastard street rat towards another…"

At which point Zanzu would simply hit him, and tell him to go bite his tongue out. He suspected, though, that it might have had something to do with the fact that he too had reiatsu. Kurin used his quite often, but his spiritual pressure seemed weak to Zanzu. Not that he ever told his friend that, of course. Even if Kurin had weak spiritual pressure, he could still beat up Zanzu easily.

He'd suggested, once, that with their power, they should become Shinigami. Kurin's reaction had been instantaneous and shocking.

"I'll never become one of them," he'd hissed angrily. "You think we're scum right now? They take it to a new low – there isn't even a name for people who use their reiatsu like that. Don't ever say something that idiotic again, Zanzu."

Zanzu's eyes had widened in surprise.

"But Kurin," he pleaded, "it'll mean we can get out of here! We'll have a roof over us and food to eat, and–"

He didn't get any further before Kurin exploded in his face.

"DON'T. BE. SO. DAMN. STUPID. You don't want to sink to their level. If you go, you're going alone, and we won't be friends any more."

With that, he stalked off, lashing out at everything he passed. Zanzu, shocked into silence, let him go. He never mentioned it again.

The streets were very empty that day. Captain Kurotsuchi of the 12th division was going to be coming by Area 80, and no one wanted to attract his attention. His appearance tended to coincide with a series of disappearances, and wild rumours were passed around about his human experiments. Zanzu was determined to catch a glimpse of a real Shinigami, though, and hid himself in the shadows of an alley of the main street. Of course, he didn't tell Kurin where he was going, but slipped away early that morning. He could feel the intense pressure of the reiatsu as the Captain approached. His fear getting the better of him, he backed deeper into the alley. The Captain turned, his mask looking more and more menacing each second. Spotting his figure in the shadows, he motioned ominiously for Zanzu to approach.

Zanzu was frozen in fear at the summons, and instinctively stepped backwards. At the same time, a hand grabbed the back of his shirt and he landed unceremoniously on his butt behind the relative safety of the giant dumpster.

"I see we part in almost the same way we met," a familiar voice said dryly. "Just shut up, and whatever you do, don't let him know you're here."

With that, Kurin stepped out into clear view in the alley. Zanzu could only listen to the conversation from where he was sitting. Claiming to be the figure in the alley, Kurin demanded to know what the Captain wanted with him, then shoved his defiance in the Captain's face. The cold, condescending laughter was more than enough to chill Zanzu's blood, and he found himself unable to move to help his friend. Then the voice, with a malicious glee as he had never heard before:

"Ah… such a big mouth for so little spiritual pressure. In that case, I have nothing I want with you, boy."

Then came the scream – so loud it blanketed all of Area 80, and so anguished that Zanzu knew he would never have a good night's sleep again. When all was quiet again, he crept out to what remained of his friend, and wept.

Zanzu worked feverishly for the next few years. From every morning to every night, he would train himself until he was so exhausted, his body would collapse into a dreamless sleep. Even so, he could never escape – he would wake up each morning to the endless echo of that scream, the last sound to ever come from the lips of his best friend. Throughout the day, the guilt would continually gnaw at him, even though he pushed himself harder and harder. It sharpened his determination, however. He would join the Shinigami, he would request to be in the 12th division, and when he had the chance, he would avenge Kurin.

It was almost impossible to become a seated officer, Zanzu had found, much to his annoyance. Despite his rigorous training, there were always others who were better than him. The problem was that, as part of the main squad, there was never any chance to get close to Captain Kurotsuchi. No matter how he manoeuvred, he never got the chance to come within even 5 metres of him. So it was that when he, along with three others, were summoned for a special mission, he grabbed eagerly at the chance. Luring some drifters back to headquarters seemed an easy job, and having a special mission listed would surely look good when promotions came around again. If he could just become a seated officer, then he would be reporting to the Captain on a daily basis. He would be another step closer to his revenge.

Zanzu managed to catch a glimpse of the male drifter's face before he squeezed his eyes shut – outrage was etched on his face, and Zanzu knew that Kurotsuchi would have to face him for this. If not for him and his friends' fiery deaths, then for the attempt to kill his female companion. He must have been strong simply to get into Soul Society, let alone the Tororei.

_I'm sorry, Kurin. I became what you hated, and it was for nothing. I sold my soul for a half-assed plan of revenge that never came to pass. Please, intruder, if you do nothing else, make him suffer. You may not be able to defeat the Captain, but I would be happy knowing that he was in as much pain as Kurin was. I beg you, intruder…_


End file.
